How to Get Over a Girl You Loved So Much

I have a request from a friend of mine to write about this topic. You may think that this is simple, and you may think that you don't need people's help to move on. Well, agree to disagree. Every people have their own way to move on or to get over a girl/a boy they loved so much. But believe me, getting over your ex or a girl that you loved so much-but-she-didn't-accept-you-as-her-boyfriend is a great dilemma of manhood.

Back to my purpose of writing this. Hmm, actually I write this to relieve my burdens. I admit that I had this kind of problem a few days ago, and guess what? These ways work. This morning, I saw her and his boyfriend walk together, and I didn't feel anything. Well, to be honest my hands were shaking, and trust me, it's better since it''s not my heart was shaking.

Set Up Your Mind
First thing first, keep in your mind that she has gone already. You don't have a chance to be her love anymore.

Stop acting like she was the God's gift to you.

She is not the one you're waiting for. To be honest, bad-mouthing her. Is it too harsh? Well, accept the truth that she-didn't-accept-you is far more harsh than this. Once you set that she is too negative to be yours, move on.

Give Some Spaces
This is really important. You have to must change. No more Mr. Nice Guy who always available for her anytime. Move away from her life. You can't be the old you again for her.

Maybe you said some crap about trying to stay friends, maybe you made some idiot vow to “always be there for each other,” but forget it. Both of you have changed.

That means no chats, no phone calls, no talks, no Facebook, no twitter. The main thing is, do not contact her at any cost. Well, they're not permanent anyway. At least, until you've your feelings under your control. Until you are on the platonic level relationship with her. But please do remember that you can't be that close again with her. You should know when to get close, and when to back off from her.

Talk to Your Friends
Share this problems with your friends. Let them know who is the girl behind this. Mention her name, even though your friends are her friends too, it's okay. By telling them your problems, you've released a megaton of burdens from you and shared it to the others.

But be wary of friends trying to connect you with another person right now, this is not what you need. Simply say, "No, thanks".

You need to be surrounded by people who love you, give you support, and feel empathy toward you. They will help you to see that your self are too worth it for her. You're too nice to be her's.

You aren't Okay with That
Some of you may think like this,

I have to be strong, I must not cry.

 or maybe like this,

I don't want to look pitiful. I have to smile.

well I would like to say I am sorry, you're wrong. Cry if you want to cry. Sing a sad song to forget her. Write a heart-break poem, a song. Write all your feelings down there. You may show it to her if you want to. Do not pretending that you're okay, in fact you're not okay.

Just a last simple statement from me.

When your love line only works one way, that means you're too nice to be her's. She is only worth it to be your friend, not life-mate. Move on, stop putting hopes and expectations toward her. Find your own happiness.

|-) 

FRIEND ZONE

Yes, the post that I have been waiting for a long time. Many thanks to Christopher Zhou who gave me this inspiration.

Have you guys ever been friend zoned? Yeah that sucks and hard to tell your self what to do. Seems like every steps you take are wrong and lead to another problem with YOURSELF. Yes, yourself.
But it depends on why you're being stuck in a friend zone. Is it because (1) you're comfortable with it and really comfortable, or (2) you're pretending to be comfortable?
I will not tell you about option number (1), because I think most people don't have a problem with it. That means, you're really want to be her friend.The (2) problem is what I want to discuss here. Later on, I will share the solutions for the problem.

Friends or Lovers?
Sometimes we have a crush with our friend, even though we've already knew for a long time, but it could happen, couldn't it? Every morning when you wake up from your deep sleep, you think of her. Then, without you realize, you will always think about her until you met her. Your heart rate increases, and you feel so damn happy, nothing to worry about, although you will have an exam in the next one hour. 
Does she feel the same thing that you feel? Does she know what are you feeling right now? My suggestion, don't tell it too late. Tell her soon, that you have this feeling. Confess, and wait for her reactions. She may be surprised and doesn't know what she must do. You will have two answers here, (1)"Why do you suddenly tell me this?" (2)"I'm really sorry. You're the best thing I had in my life. But, I don't have love feelings toward you. I like you as a friend".
Option number (1) means that you're not friend-zoned. Congratulations! Now, approach her as a man, not as her friend, but still keeps your friendship, because believe it or not, your love line is determined from your friendship, and in the end you will have a happy ending with her. Your friend is also your love.

Life is Harsh. Too Harsh.
Option (2) means that you HAVE TO move on. You are not aiming for a friendship here. No matter what you do, or what you've done, I'm sorry, you've been friend-zoned. That means, you should not pretending you're okay when you see her with another guy. You should not pretending that you didn't think of her every minutes. You should not pretending that you're okay when you sacrificed your time, your self for her even though you can't be her's.

there's a saying, "Good guys finish last." ever heard of it? it shows how the better someone is, the less chance they have on romance.

She knows that you're a nice person, too nice for her. That means, you are perfect. She would think that you don't need her to fix you. There is no any reason for her to be there with you. Well, that's a reason.

a more negative view on this would be because they're that good, there's a subconscious insecurity, that they'd make their partner look bad

. . .

now what if they won't take you seriously? well there's a limit to everything, especially if you threaten the friendship they value so much

That's a problem when she is a person who values friendship so much. Friends mean everything to her.
I used to think that I can make this life became my ideal. I realized that I was wrong. This is real life, and life is too harsh. You must do what you must do, don't pretend as if everything is okay, and my this is what I want with my life, even though YOU ARE NOT OKAY WITH THAT. Leave, and never come back unless you've got those feelings under your control. You must be asking a silly question like this, "will I come back to her with the old me?". The answer is no. Both of you have changed, and you can't became what you used to be for her.
We can't blame our self or her. This is not a specific person's fault. The situation made the friend zone itself.
So, here is the thing, what you need to do in order to not in friend zone, if friendship is not what you are looking for.

that means maintaining the right amount of balance--knowing when to get close and to back off, when to be there and to leave them alone.

That is setting your direction. Accept the truth.

if you call yourself friend zoned, then realize it and do (or don't do) something about it. set the direction. take charge.

credits (thx bro!)

Epic Kiss (?)

Memang bener, kalo mau nulis itu harus butuh ketenangan. Gw udah buktiin. Selama gw nulis tulisan ini, gw berada di ruangan yang berisik dengan suara TV, air akuarium, dan suara orang lagi makan kerupuk. Alhasil, jadilah tulisan yang absurd dan gak ada nilai moralnya ini.

Oh iya, ngomong-ngomong gw baru aja dicium sama jupe. Buat kalian yang nggak kenal jupe, tontonlah bola. Soalnya disitu ada pacarnya si jupe main bola, namanya Gaston. Jujur, gw baru aja dicium sama jupe. Kok bisa? Ada deh. Ngeselin ya.

Jadi waktu itu Metro TV dateng ke Binus buat taping Talk Indonesia, semacam acara talkshow gitu tapi dalam bahasa Inggris. Host utamanya itu Dalton Tanonaka, pria besar dari Jepang, jago bahasa Inggris. Beda banget sama gw yang ngomong Inggris aja masih meler ingusnya. Satu lagi hostnya namanya Rahayu Saraswati, cakep, dan gw bukan tipe dia banget. Kalau diliat dari personality dia, tipe cowok dia itu pasti bule, atau cowok-cowok fitness yang kulitnya putih, dan biasanya bawa mobil CRV.

Guest host pada episode itu kebetulan adalah Julia Perez. Kalau kalian blm tau, silahkan googling dan kagetlah akan hal-hal yang kemungkinan akan terjadi pada anda. Gw ketawa jahat. Pokoknya dalam acara itu, gw bisa menanyakan satu pertanyaan yang emang sebelumnya udah gw siapin. Thanks to my friend Marcel, gw bisa dicium sama jupe.

Pas hari acara itu ditayangin, yaitu hari ini, gw dimention sama beberapa orang yang bahkan gw gak kenal. Ini nih beberapa contohnya :

Censored tweets mean that those tweets didn't relate to this topci

bad words

This day happens once in a lifetime I think. I'm so lucky.

Anyeong!