Somewhere Between Love, Life, and Friendship

I don't know about you guys, let's just be an agree to disagree. I do really want to write this in purpose to share my thoughts about this world. Especially, how this world-reality could affect our emotions, our ways of thinking, our social life, our dateline, our romances, etc. Remember what I have said, agree to disagree.

Two out of Three
In this world, we have to always face a situation where we should choose. Believe me, it sucks to choose. Because you can't choose all the options that are offered. For example, when you are offered to have a breakfast : Toast or Egg? You can't choose all of them. Well, maybe some of you could, but the main idea is to show you that we have to sacrifice one of the option. Later in this post, you will know when you can pick all of the options.

You could only choose two out of three; between Life, Love, or Friendship at this early. But when the time has come, you can choose all of them.

Be realistic, if you think you can manage well all of the them right now, I would say good luck. But in the end, you may sacrifice one of those things; either it's your life, your love story, or friendship. It doesn't seem concrete at the beginning. It will turn out after you realize that you lose something you can't change.

How to grow it back? If it is a person, it's not easy to make him/her back to you. Because when 'LOSE' is mentioned, it's mean it's gone. Yep, gone. But hey, there is a bright side from this lost. If it's not a person but it came from the part of yourself (your desires and passions), cheer up! You are possible to grow it back. Well, look deep inside yourself. You know what yourself need. Have a time for yourself, have fun, do some crazy things, and think that everything will be alright. Try new things that you never tried before. Believe me, if you do it right, congratulations you've just became the better version of you.

Patience does Matters
Remember my quote above? I did mention about 'time' right? Actually ladies and gentlemen, that's true.

This is the fact, you could only choose two from Life, Love, or Friendship. When the time is right, you will be able to choose all of them.

So, what do I mean by mentioning 'time'?

'When the time is right', I mean is when you meet your life-partner. Because he/she will become your life, your lover, and also your friend.

So, it's all make sense eh? It's all about patience. The question is, how long I should wait? I know that people vary on their patience level. So that's why God gave us different time to wait.

Some people are given a short time to wait, but some people don't. They have to wait longer. But it's worth waiting for. The problem come when they don't have any patiences to wait.

Underline the last sentence of it, especially on 'problem'. Refer back to previous chapter, that's the problem. For example when you choose Love and Life, than you may lost Friendship. Some of your friends may change due to it. On the other hand, when you choose Love and Friendship, you don't have a life. You don't even have a time for yourself, your college, your job, your health. Because you only do care about the other two. Then, how about Life and Friendship? You know the answer.

33.3%, Can I?
I don't think it's a good idea to choose all of them. (Oh damn it, blackout!) It's because you can't work all of them maximally. Ideally, you think you're doing good, but in reality, you're abandoning one of them that you don't even realize before they tell to you.

Don't be sad or depressed after you read my post. Well, this is only my opinion. But if I have to choose, I'd prefer to wait, or choose Friendship and Life. How about Love? *chuckles*
Love is the only thing in those options that we can't control, and understand when it will come. But friendship and life, you can find them everywhere and manage them well, then you'll get a happy life.

My reason why I choose to wait :

'When the time is right', I mean is when you meet your life-partner. Because he/she will become your life, your lover, and also your friend.

Earth is spinning around, life must go on.
(:

How to Get Over a Girl You Loved So Much

I have a request from a friend of mine to write about this topic. You may think that this is simple, and you may think that you don't need people's help to move on. Well, agree to disagree. Every people have their own way to move on or to get over a girl/a boy they loved so much. But believe me, getting over your ex or a girl that you loved so much-but-she-didn't-accept-you-as-her-boyfriend is a great dilemma of manhood.

Back to my purpose of writing this. Hmm, actually I write this to relieve my burdens. I admit that I had this kind of problem a few days ago, and guess what? These ways work. This morning, I saw her and his boyfriend walk together, and I didn't feel anything. Well, to be honest my hands were shaking, and trust me, it's better since it''s not my heart was shaking.

Set Up Your Mind
First thing first, keep in your mind that she has gone already. You don't have a chance to be her love anymore.

Stop acting like she was the God's gift to you.

She is not the one you're waiting for. To be honest, bad-mouthing her. Is it too harsh? Well, accept the truth that she-didn't-accept-you is far more harsh than this. Once you set that she is too negative to be yours, move on.

Give Some Spaces
This is really important. You have to must change. No more Mr. Nice Guy who always available for her anytime. Move away from her life. You can't be the old you again for her.

Maybe you said some crap about trying to stay friends, maybe you made some idiot vow to “always be there for each other,” but forget it. Both of you have changed.

That means no chats, no phone calls, no talks, no Facebook, no twitter. The main thing is, do not contact her at any cost. Well, they're not permanent anyway. At least, until you've your feelings under your control. Until you are on the platonic level relationship with her. But please do remember that you can't be that close again with her. You should know when to get close, and when to back off from her.

Talk to Your Friends
Share this problems with your friends. Let them know who is the girl behind this. Mention her name, even though your friends are her friends too, it's okay. By telling them your problems, you've released a megaton of burdens from you and shared it to the others.

But be wary of friends trying to connect you with another person right now, this is not what you need. Simply say, "No, thanks".

You need to be surrounded by people who love you, give you support, and feel empathy toward you. They will help you to see that your self are too worth it for her. You're too nice to be her's.

You aren't Okay with That
Some of you may think like this,

I have to be strong, I must not cry.

 or maybe like this,

I don't want to look pitiful. I have to smile.

well I would like to say I am sorry, you're wrong. Cry if you want to cry. Sing a sad song to forget her. Write a heart-break poem, a song. Write all your feelings down there. You may show it to her if you want to. Do not pretending that you're okay, in fact you're not okay.

Just a last simple statement from me.

When your love line only works one way, that means you're too nice to be her's. She is only worth it to be your friend, not life-mate. Move on, stop putting hopes and expectations toward her. Find your own happiness.

|-) 

FRIEND ZONE

Yes, the post that I have been waiting for a long time. Many thanks to Christopher Zhou who gave me this inspiration.

Have you guys ever been friend zoned? Yeah that sucks and hard to tell your self what to do. Seems like every steps you take are wrong and lead to another problem with YOURSELF. Yes, yourself.
But it depends on why you're being stuck in a friend zone. Is it because (1) you're comfortable with it and really comfortable, or (2) you're pretending to be comfortable?
I will not tell you about option number (1), because I think most people don't have a problem with it. That means, you're really want to be her friend.The (2) problem is what I want to discuss here. Later on, I will share the solutions for the problem.

Friends or Lovers?
Sometimes we have a crush with our friend, even though we've already knew for a long time, but it could happen, couldn't it? Every morning when you wake up from your deep sleep, you think of her. Then, without you realize, you will always think about her until you met her. Your heart rate increases, and you feel so damn happy, nothing to worry about, although you will have an exam in the next one hour. 
Does she feel the same thing that you feel? Does she know what are you feeling right now? My suggestion, don't tell it too late. Tell her soon, that you have this feeling. Confess, and wait for her reactions. She may be surprised and doesn't know what she must do. You will have two answers here, (1)"Why do you suddenly tell me this?" (2)"I'm really sorry. You're the best thing I had in my life. But, I don't have love feelings toward you. I like you as a friend".
Option number (1) means that you're not friend-zoned. Congratulations! Now, approach her as a man, not as her friend, but still keeps your friendship, because believe it or not, your love line is determined from your friendship, and in the end you will have a happy ending with her. Your friend is also your love.

Life is Harsh. Too Harsh.
Option (2) means that you HAVE TO move on. You are not aiming for a friendship here. No matter what you do, or what you've done, I'm sorry, you've been friend-zoned. That means, you should not pretending you're okay when you see her with another guy. You should not pretending that you didn't think of her every minutes. You should not pretending that you're okay when you sacrificed your time, your self for her even though you can't be her's.

there's a saying, "Good guys finish last." ever heard of it? it shows how the better someone is, the less chance they have on romance.

She knows that you're a nice person, too nice for her. That means, you are perfect. She would think that you don't need her to fix you. There is no any reason for her to be there with you. Well, that's a reason.

a more negative view on this would be because they're that good, there's a subconscious insecurity, that they'd make their partner look bad

. . .

now what if they won't take you seriously? well there's a limit to everything, especially if you threaten the friendship they value so much

That's a problem when she is a person who values friendship so much. Friends mean everything to her.
I used to think that I can make this life became my ideal. I realized that I was wrong. This is real life, and life is too harsh. You must do what you must do, don't pretend as if everything is okay, and my this is what I want with my life, even though YOU ARE NOT OKAY WITH THAT. Leave, and never come back unless you've got those feelings under your control. You must be asking a silly question like this, "will I come back to her with the old me?". The answer is no. Both of you have changed, and you can't became what you used to be for her.
We can't blame our self or her. This is not a specific person's fault. The situation made the friend zone itself.
So, here is the thing, what you need to do in order to not in friend zone, if friendship is not what you are looking for.

that means maintaining the right amount of balance--knowing when to get close and to back off, when to be there and to leave them alone.

That is setting your direction. Accept the truth.

if you call yourself friend zoned, then realize it and do (or don't do) something about it. set the direction. take charge.

credits (thx bro!)

Epic Kiss (?)

Memang bener, kalo mau nulis itu harus butuh ketenangan. Gw udah buktiin. Selama gw nulis tulisan ini, gw berada di ruangan yang berisik dengan suara TV, air akuarium, dan suara orang lagi makan kerupuk. Alhasil, jadilah tulisan yang absurd dan gak ada nilai moralnya ini.

Oh iya, ngomong-ngomong gw baru aja dicium sama jupe. Buat kalian yang nggak kenal jupe, tontonlah bola. Soalnya disitu ada pacarnya si jupe main bola, namanya Gaston. Jujur, gw baru aja dicium sama jupe. Kok bisa? Ada deh. Ngeselin ya.

Jadi waktu itu Metro TV dateng ke Binus buat taping Talk Indonesia, semacam acara talkshow gitu tapi dalam bahasa Inggris. Host utamanya itu Dalton Tanonaka, pria besar dari Jepang, jago bahasa Inggris. Beda banget sama gw yang ngomong Inggris aja masih meler ingusnya. Satu lagi hostnya namanya Rahayu Saraswati, cakep, dan gw bukan tipe dia banget. Kalau diliat dari personality dia, tipe cowok dia itu pasti bule, atau cowok-cowok fitness yang kulitnya putih, dan biasanya bawa mobil CRV.

Guest host pada episode itu kebetulan adalah Julia Perez. Kalau kalian blm tau, silahkan googling dan kagetlah akan hal-hal yang kemungkinan akan terjadi pada anda. Gw ketawa jahat. Pokoknya dalam acara itu, gw bisa menanyakan satu pertanyaan yang emang sebelumnya udah gw siapin. Thanks to my friend Marcel, gw bisa dicium sama jupe.

Pas hari acara itu ditayangin, yaitu hari ini, gw dimention sama beberapa orang yang bahkan gw gak kenal. Ini nih beberapa contohnya :

Censored tweets mean that those tweets didn't relate to this topci

bad words

This day happens once in a lifetime I think. I'm so lucky.

Anyeong!

Too Super for a Day

Kemarin bener-bener jadi hari yang super banget. Super sekali. Mario Teguh pun kalah super. Bahkan, Superman aja kalah super. Saking kalah supernya, kolornya dia jatoh ke bumi pas dia lagi terbang, masuk ke ember cat warna hijau, jadilah kolor ijo. Trus kolornya dipake sama Hulk. Oh, ternyata Hulk kolornya warna ungu. Faktanya kemarin itu bener-bener sibuk seharian dari pagi sampe ketemu pagi lagi. Oke, gini ceritanya.

Matahari terbit, memancarkan sinarnya. Indah, hangat-hangat tahi ayam. Tapi matahari gak lembek. Aku siap-siap mau ke kampus, menuntut ilmu dan uang saku. Kunaiki sepeda motorku yang telah menemani perjalanan hidupku selama kurang lebih 4 tahun. Kuberi nama dia ‘Heli’. Kasian dia, setiap hari dinaiki, tapi gak pernah aku lamar. Kasian sekali. Tiba-tiba, alangkah tidak beruntungnya diriku, sesuatu terjadi pada Heli. Sesuatu banget yah. Rantainya Heli lepas dari mesinnya, sehingga menyebabkan si Heli daripada tidak bisa daripada jalan. Well, jalan sih bisa, tapi didorong. 

Akhirnya, ku dorong Heli sampai bengkel yang sudah buka jam 7. Ternyata yang udah buka jam 7 itu cuma warteg, toko besi, apotik, sama tukang bubur. Aku berinisiatif menitipkan Heli pada tukang bubur, namun ku urungkan niatku, karena takut si Heli dijadiin cakwe. Akhirnya, ada bengkel yang setengah buka, aku sangat bahagia. Bagai kejatuhan duren dari langit, berdarah-darah masuk rumah sakit, tapi susternya cantik. How lucky I am.

Setelah meninggalkan Heli berdua dengan montir berjanggut pelit, aku melanjutkan perjalananku menuju kampus. Jam di tanganku menunjukkan pukul 7.30, aku panik. Keringat bercucuran tiada henti, Ayu Ting-Ting masih salah alamat. Dengan segera aku mencari angkot terdekat yang sedang menunggu mangsanya. Tetapi aku takut. Aku teringat kejadian-kejadian di angkot yang sangat tidak mengenakkan sekali. Aku takut nanti tiba-tiba aku diperkosa lalu dijual ke ancol untuk jadi badut kukang. Tanpa pikir panjang, karena memang otakku tidak bisa berpikir panjang, aku naik juga itu angkot. Lima menit berlalu, aku sampai di kampus, lalu aku berlari menuju eskalator menuju ruangan dimana seharusnya aku harus hadir 25 menit yang lalu. Oke, sebenarnya gara-gara itu lab-skill, jadi gw gak boleh telat. Biasanya sih gw baru sampe kelas 1 jam setelah kelas mulai, tapi gara-gara ini lab gw harus buru-buru. Sayang absennya booooo.

Kelas demi kelas kulalui. Detik demi detik kulewati. Jam demi jam kuganti baterenya. Saatnya aku menuju Mampang guna ikut serta dalam tes TOEFL. Tepatnya di gedung jamsostek. Aku bersama temanku, Janet, lebih mirip orang desa yang baru pertama kali ngeliat gedung besar. Kami tes di lantai 20. Yang aneh dari tes ini itu pengawasnya. Ngomong Inggris dengan logat khas Indonesia. Gw sempet ‘hah’ beberapa kali waktu dia ngasih pertanyaan ke gw.

Jadi, begitulah kiranya bagaimana aku melewati sebuah hari yang super. Oh iya, benerin si Heli biayanya sampe 300 ribu. Hasilnya, si Heli udah gagah lagi kaya si Agung Hercules yang nyanyi Astuti. Yeaaaaaaaaaah....

In my opinion, sekali-kali kalau dikasih hari kaya gini gak ada salahnya. It could cure our boredom. So, jangan pernah mengeluh fellas! When there is a will, there is a way.

Super Sekali

XD

Be Loved

Love is not a feeling.

It is hard to understand when we’re not at it.

Sometimes we ask ourselves,

“Is this what they called ‘love’?”

So what is love exactly.

Mystery of universe seems fit to it.

You won’t understand unless it is in you.

Like a dynamite which can blow you up.

Unrequited.

Take a deep breath, and let it go.

Or like heaven’s breeze that lift you up.

Requited.

 

Is love given by God?

When? Where?

One thing I know, life is a journey.

A journey to find.

Love, wealth, happiness.

Love is related.

I will eventually find her.

Worth to wait, ain’t waste my life.

Problembh

Key-i-pi-ow. Apa itu kepo? Gw jelasin dulu satu hal sama kalian, kepo itu bukan makanan dan bukan nama hewan. Jujur dari awal gw denger kata kepo, gw berimajinasi tentang makanan yang terbuat dari sayuran dan rasanya asin-asin nendang. Bahkan gw sempet berfantasi kalau kepo itu sejenis kodok yang gak bisa berenang. Well, kepo itu bisa dibilang mau tau urusan orang lain. Kalau nggak tau urusan orang yang bersangkutan itu, dia bakalan penasaran maksimal.

There are some people who don’t care about other people business, but there are some who care. Menurut gw sih bagus klo emang kalian care sama masalah orang lain. Itu artinya lo bener-bener perhatian sama orang itu, tapi kadang ada masalah yang berada di lingkungan private. Mungkin dia bener-bener gak bisa share masalah itu ke orang lain.

To be honest, gw nggak terlalu perduli sama urusan orang lain. Apalagi sama masalah-masalah yang memang sepele tapi menjadi besar karena diurut sama Mak Erot. It is not because I’m a selfish or ignorant person, but let them be. Yes, let them be. You have your own life and your own problem. Mind your own business.

People are extravision. We have high curiousity about anything. Terus, siapa yang salah? Kita kepo kadang-kadang salah. Kita cuek juga salah. Well, I think I have the solution.

1. Jangan ceritain klo lo punya masalah di situs jaringan sosial apapun klo itu adalah masalah sepele yang lo sebenarnya bisa pecahkan sendiri. If you need a friend to share, ask directly. For your information, kalau kalian punya masalah pribadi, dan kalian update itu di facebook atau twitter, well believe me. You’ve just spread negative power. Actually, seorang teman bakal lebih seneng klo ada seseorang yang minta pendapatnya langsung  tanpa melalui twitter, atau facebook.
2. Kalau lo ngeliat temen lo lagi murung atau lagi diem, atau mungkin lagi nggak kaya biasanya, jangan dibawa ke dukun atau ke sirkus. Jangan dipikirin, karena semakin lo pikirin, lo bakal semakin penasaran, dan akhirnya lo ngegalau. Keep it in your mind, they don’t share their problems because they can’t, not because they don’t want to.
3. Kalau ternyata orang itu adalah orang yang paling lo care about, dan ternyata dia ngelakuin kasus nomer 1 dan 2, always keep it in your mind : “Every problem come with its solution. Keep believing in God, because He will guide you to find the solution.”

Believe me, gw pernah dapet kasus nomer 3 and it sucks. Tapi akhirnya gw yakin, kalo Tuhan itu selalu memberi solusi buat mereka yang mau mencoba nyelesain masalahnya. Jadi, nggak usah galau kalau ternyata orang yang lo sayang atau care lagi punya problem dan dia gak mau cerita-cerita, tenang aja he/she will be fine kok. Dan kalo emang lo care sama dia, lo harusnya seneng juga ngeliat dia bisa handle masalah dia sendiri.

(Kadang-kadang penulis secara tidak sadar melakukan hal nomor 1)

Chill out fellas!

Changeable, like underwear.

People are changing. Gw baru aja nonton film Green Lantern yang gw download di IDWS. Gw gak mau beli DVDnya soalnya gambarnya blom bagus, abis itu nggak gratis. Buat apa gw harus bayar 6000 rupiah buat beli sekeping DVD bajakan? Bukannya pembajakan intelektual itu dilarang oleh undang-undang kan. Sekarang pertanyaan gw, apakah mendownload film di internet itu salah satu pembajakan intelektual yang dilindungi oleh undang-undang? Well, kalau di Indonesia gw rasa nggak ya. Soalnya gw blom pernah liat ada polisi razia ke kantor IDWS atau kantor-kantor situs forum lainnya buat nyuruh moderatornya delete thread film-film itu. Oh ya, buat kalian yang belum tau apa itu IDWS, itu adalah Indowebster. Ini situsnya : http://www.indowebster.web.id/

 

Oh iya, gw mau bilang juga yang masih sering jalan di Jakarta hati-hati kalo mau ambil jalur busway. Soalnya udah satu minggu ini gw liat polisi lagi pada hobi razia di situ. Pak polisi, banci-banci di sekitar binus dong pak di razia. Puhlease.

Back to topic soal “people are changing”, dan kenapa gw sangkutin sama film Green Lantern. Bener gak sih ada kehidupan di alam semesta ini selain kita, ras manusia? Di film itu ceritanya si Hal Jordan itu jadi Green Lantern terus ketemu sama alien-alien dari seluruh galaksi. Terus ada satu scene waktu dia bilang klo gak salah kaya gini “I was thought that we are the only race in this world, I was wrong. We are still young. We still have so many things to learn. Alhamdulillah yah, sesuatu”. Dari situ gw dapet pencerahan, seakan gw ngeliat cahaya putih bersinar di depan gw, dan tangan terasa panas. Ternyata gw abis masang lampu kamar, lupa dimatiin dlu saklarnya.

CAN-GHE-WE

If that were true, then our dreams to live with peace and harmonic are still a long journey. Di film-film lain pun yang masih bertemakan alien pasti mereka kalau ke Indonesia, eh Bumi itu pasti peralatannya super canggih, dan mereka bakal sempet bilang gini “peradaban manusia sangat tertinggal” atau “manusia belum bisa menggunakan bahkan 20% dari kemampuan mereka sesungguhnya” atau mungkin “tolong beliin cabe sama minyak goreng di warung Bang Napi”. Oke, itu tadi gw lg disuruh belanja di warung depan rumah. I am succesfully distracted.

Jadi intinya, kita masih harus banyak belajar dari siapapun. Entah itu dari alien, manusia lain, dosen, guru, office boy, cici yang jualan bakmi Effata, protekom, pokoknya siapapun. Even a teacher can learn from his students. But why some people always rise their pride high? It depends. If you want to change, try to be a better version of you. Better, not different. Cheerio!

Success is not from Harvard

The sky was so bright yesterday. Birds sang songs. Cats slept all day long. Dosen-dosen pada males ngajar. Kemarin adalah hari pertama gw jadi tutor. Asik. Ketemu sama anak-anak baru yang pada manggil gw ‘kak’, berasa dihormati abis. Mulai sekarang gw harus membiasain diri gw dipanggil ‘kak’, soalnya sebelumnya gw harus kayang di atas signboard sevel dlu baru gw dihormatin. Tapi, kebanyakan dari mereka malah lemparin kacang.

Kemarin gw ngeh satu hal. Tentang Bill Gates. Waktu tutor kemarin gw kasih liat ke anak didik gw video Keong Racunnya Shinta dan Jojo. Oh bukan, video pidatonya Bill Gates yang bener. Ternyata dia itu drop out dari Harvard, dan dia adalah pemilik perusahaan microsoft tanpa memiliki gelar sarjana apapun. Dari situ gw sadar, kalau Binus jauh lebih baik dari Harvard. Terima kasih Bapak Rektor karena telah menerima saya yang suka ngupil ini di Binus University.

Bill Gates at his unyu time. Aaron Carter?

Jadi, sukses itu bukannya diraih dari gelar-gelar kita. Tapi bagaimana kita menyelaraskan ambisi dan pengambilan keputusan yang tepat. Ceilah. Walaupun pendidikan kita memang gak setinggi pohon yang ada di lapangan keraton Jogja, oh iya gw jadi inget satu hal. Bener gak sih kita gak bisa jalan lurus ke arah pohon itu kalau mata kita ditutup?

Back to topic, sorry tadi gw ngaco sebentar. Jadi walaupun kita gak sepintar professor-professor yang suka bikin pesawat, klo gw bikin pesawat kertas aja udah pasti jatoh langsung pesawatnya. Tapi, kalau lo punya keinginan, apapun bisa terjadi saudara-saudara.

Really?